I recently subscribed to Parenting Early Years and have really been enjoying each issue so far. I find this magazine to be not too long, not overwhelming to read, and relatively light-hearted. Just what a need for my reading material during my nursing sessions with Harper. This month there was an article titled The 6 Friends Every Mom Needs. I don’t know why, but I really enjoyed this article. I think first of all, as mommy’s we often neglect our friendships and their importance. I know I am guilty of this, as well as completely failing to nurture some friendships just out of the craziness in my life or even out of feeling like we have nothing in common anymore. This article helped me reflect on my own friends and how they fit into my life as a mom to three boys (and counting!).
1. The Mom in the Same Boat. For me this person is my friend BethAnn. Actually, I have several of these people, also my friend Emily. As the wife of a med student and now a resident, I have formed strong bonds during these years with other women who have husbands in the same position, particularly the stay at home moms who, like me, have tried to support a family on student loans and now a meager resident’s salary. We just get it. We get the financial issues, we get the time/job issues, we get the husband issues, and we get the kid issues. We connect on a very important level and are such an important social support network for one another. This is a bond that will ALWAYS be there, and I know we will always be there for each other.
2. The no-kids pal. OK, this article says that this friend is important in order to still feel connected to your life as a woman and the areas of your life that are not related to being a mommy. I have to admit that I don’t really have this friend right now. I would say the closest are a couple of my best friends from high school, however, we don’t even live remotely close to one another, find it hard to keep in touch, and probably see each other once every 2 or 3 years!
3. The Been-there, done-that mom. Probably my friend Emily here as her kids are a few months older than my kids and she had 3 before I had 3 so I use her as a sounding board for many of my parenting questions and issues. Also, BethAnn has 2 older sisters so through her I feel I get a lot of sound advice. And who can ignore my own mom!!!! Although, she is a great illustration of how rosy of a picture your memory re-paints after 28 years! I try hard to be this person to my friend Kate who just had a baby this past December. I hope I am not annoying to her….I try to offer advice only when she asks for it becuase I know how annoyed I can get when people offer me unsolicited advice.
4. The I’ll Do Anything For You Buddy. I think I am fortunate to have many of these people in my life. BethAnn would move mountains for me, Emily would do pretty much anything for me, and my friend Janeen who lives in New Mexico is a very loyal and giving friend. This article points out how important it is to return the favor in this relationship and to nurture this relationship so it is not one-sided.
5. The Slightly Glam Girlfriend. Ok, I hope I don’t offend anyone here, but I think I need this friend. First off, my general outfit is shorts and a tank top or t-shirt, sans accessories. I have never been very into fashion, mostly out of lack of money and knowledge. Maybe I should post a wanted ad for this friend…I am in great need of her! The closest I had was a sales person I frequently visited at Eddie Bauer in Michigan–she was awesome and for about a year I at least had some clothes and belts in my closet that were fashionable…..these don’t really fit now that I have since had 2 more children, and my boobs are the size of texas and my stomach is like one big marshmallow.
6. The Brutally Honest Pal. I think almost all of my girlfriends fall into this category….I truly value honesty so I have a hard time being friends with someone who can’t be honest or just tell me what they think, regardless of if I’m going to like it!